It's Been Awhile

                So I had a post on Psalm 28 a few weeks ago, but it just seemed very bland.  It was something ginned up just to have something on Psalm 28, instead of something I really felt.  I slept on it and finally found that my problem was that Psalm 28 seems like several other psalms.  I also needed to take some time to focus on some other important matters.  Anyway, back to Psalm 28.  The problem is that, like some others I've covered recently, this one follows the same basic blueprint.

                First, there’s the “oh God hear my cry” part.  Second, it’s the “I’m surrounded by evil / wicked / slanderous people who do me wrong so avenge / defend me please.”  Finally, there’s the celebration that God has heard David’s plea.  Now, I don’t mean to be trite or mocking here.  It’s just that these psalms all seem to wrap up nicely and my life is not wrapped up with a pretty little bow.  The psalm doesn't indicate how long David cried for God to hear him.  But reading it now, it moves along quickly.  It loses the sense of anguish that David probably felt during that opening "oh God hear my cry" part.  That's where I'm at now.

I’m stuck in the first two parts.  I’m stuck pleading with God to hear my prayers.  I’m stuck asking God to deliver me from my distress.  I’m stuck because I don’t know how this will all play out.  Yes, I have faith that God is good and He does care for His children.  I just don’t know how this story goes and it’s in the not knowing that I’m scared. 

When life doesn't play out the way you expected, it causes some distress. Those twists and turns are sometimes manageable and sometimes, like now, I struggle with how to define myself.  The psalms are full of passages that show the writer going through struggles and difficult times, but they seem to always have a happy ending.  Right now, in the middle of the storm, it’s hard to deal with the happy endings.  Right now, all I can hear is the rain pouring down and wind whistling through.  I’m stuck at Psalm 28:1 – “To you I call, O Lord my Rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me.  For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit.” I can’t seem to get to verse 6 – “Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.”