Imperfection

                Imperfection – seems like it should be a dirty word or something.  I mean who wants to be imperfect.  No one deliberately makes mistakes, save in pursue of some ulterior motive not immediately recognizable by the audience.  Sure, we know we’re not perfect and we know we’re going to make mistakes.  If you’re like me, those mistakes can become the focal point of the day.  They can mar an otherwise good day at work or home.  They can turn a beautiful performance into something you would like to forget.  Maybe those mistakes shouldn’t be the focal point.  Yes, they happened and we should learn from them, but maybe they shouldn’t be allowed to dominate the picture.

                Last Easter was one of those Sundays where my mistakes took over the picture, at least for me.  Easter Sunday 2014 was the first Sunday with the new sound system in place and I was excited.  Now I was going to be able to do a lot more with worship.  I was all set to bust out the electric guitar and do some really cool stuff.  Two mistakes, though dominated my thoughts on the service.  One was a minor problem between two effects on my electric guitar and the other was a new song that almost became a complete train wreck.  Funny thing though, no one mentioned the train wreck.  A few people commented on the effects glitch since it had caused a dramatic change in volume.  Most people commented on how nice the new system was and how much they enjoyed the service.  And yet, all I could think about was everything that had gone wrong.  It wasn’t a bad service.  In fact, it was a pretty good service overall.

                Maybe our biggest flaw isn’t the imperfection itself, but our reaction to it.  As someone who leads worship, I think that may very well be the case.  If I miss a chord, lyric, or note it probably won’t get noticed by the vast majority of the congregation.  If I grimace, wince, or make any strong visual indication of my disgust with the error, that will get noticed.  It might even be enough to detract from the overall impact of the service.

                In his book Music as Prayer, Thomas Troeger writes a brief essay entitled “Wrong Notes in a Splendid Performance” in which he reflects on one of his own performances and the impact of a single mistake.  He recounts how he was doing a final run through of a flute piece with his teacher prior to a recital.  Just before a rest of several beats, he missed a note.  One single note.  As he writes it, “evidently my grimace had been severe enough that it appeared as if I had swallows something vile and repugnant.”  Once he had finished playing through the piece, his teacher remarked on how much that grimace affected the overall impression of the performance.  The grimace after one wrong note became the lasting impression.  The overall skill and beauty of the performance was swallowed up by a single moment of disgust.  Fortunately for Troeger, it was a rehearsal and not the performance for the public.

                Troeger’s essay struck a chord with me.  As a worship leader, it’s something I need to keep in mind.  While I would like perfection, it’s not always going to happen.  Something will probably go wrong – hit a wrong chord, get off beat a tad, etc. – but, I have to press on and not let the mistake show.  If my expression on stage conveys disgust or problems with the song, it can take away from what God is doing.  As Troeger puts it:

And is that not our ultimate goal – that the spirit of the work, drawn from the spirit that animates all things, might breathe through our music-making into the listeners’ hearts?  Or to put the matter as a variation on the words of St. Paul (2 Corinthians 4:7), we have this treasure of music in fingers and feet and vocal chords that do not always hit the right key or pedal or pitch so that it may be clear that the wonder and beauty of music is something greater than ourselves.

I think that sums it up quite nicely.  Our mistakes and imperfections should not be an opportunity for us to chide or get down on ourselves.  They are an opportunity for God’s glory to shine through us.  Yes, we might make one small mistake, or even a big one, but, if we’ve given it our best, God can use our offering for His glory.